Lady Ann had to wait quite some considerable time for her ink. This was not all that surprising, as Prince Rupert had to go all the way down the stairs from the tall, tall tower, and then he had to find some ink, and then he had to go all the way back up the tall, tall tower and give it to her. It says something for the energy that being the villain of the piece gives you to say that Prince Rupert could make it up and down those stairs twice in one day, in fact he could do it twice in one afternoon. His servants always arranged with each other that they would only have to do it once a day, and even then it took them so long to get up the stairs and back down again that whoever had taken the breakfast tray up to Lady Ann would more often that not meet the person who was responsible for lunch halfway up (or down) the stairs, and then a complicated process of manoeuvering around each other without spilling everything all over the narrow staircase would ensue.
Prince Rupert was clearly made of sterner stuff that his servants, although even his energetic bounds became rapidly less energetic the higher up the stairs he went. Never mind, though, it was very good for his leg muscles and cardiovascular health. Always forward thinking, he brought Lady Ann a selection of inks in different colours, not wanting to have to do the stair climb again in a hurry. He opened the door without knocking, startling Lady Ann who was sitting near the window looking out, came into the room and placed the inks on the table.
"There you are, my lady, " he said as he put them down.
"Well yes, where else would I be?" snapped Lady Ann, not getting up.
Prince Rupert looked at her blankly, not understanding her sarcasm "Your inks. " he said slowly in explanation. Perhaps, he thought, Lady Antoinetta of Erd was not so sensible as she had been supposed by him to be. She didn't seem to understand a simple statement.
Lady Ann looked away and rolled her eyes. Then she looked back. "And what am i supposed to write this letter with?" she asked, trying to sound scathing and disdainful and altogether bitchy, when all she really wanted to do was make Prince Rupert run up and down the stairs again. Which was rather bitchy, really. There were a lot of stairs, after all. Not the most hard hearted of bad guys deserved to run up and down them three times a day, and Prince Rupert was hardly the worst and blackest of all villains. He liked kittens!
Prince Rupert, however, did not see her hidden motive in asking this. He looked at the inks on the table. He looked at the table. Not only did he not see her motive, but he also did not see a quill or a pen of any sort. He said something exclamatory under his breath that sounded rather a lot like "Damn it all to [expletive deleted]!"
"I beg your pardon, Prince Rupert?" said Lady Ann, sweetly, hearing him perfectly. "I didn't quite catch that. Could you repeat it please?"
"I said I'll get you a quill." said Prince Rupert tersely, swinging out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him. Lady Ann heard him muttering to himself as he lifted the big piece of wood that locked the door into place. He did not sound happy. She stifled a giggle. His footsteps disappeared, and as they did so, it occurred to Lady Ann that perhaps making your captor angry was not the best of plans. He could so easily make her stay here much more unpleasant. He could stop sending her food or water, or he could move her - though anywhere else might be better, because she'd be lower to the ground, and therefore able to look down from her window without feeling sick. Looking out across the walls and over the plains was all right, but looking straight down still made her feel decidedly queasy. The castle seemed to sway in the wind.
She bit her lip, thinking of this. No food...if he did that, how long before she would be forced to cave to his demand for her hand? Maybe she COULD parachute out of here? Or maybe he wouldn't be SO bad as a husband? He was fond of kittens, after all. And then Lady Ann remembered just how fond of kittens Prince Rupert was, and how many cats he had, and shut down that train of thought smartly.
After what seemed to be a reasonable interval she began listening for the sound of Prince Ruperts feet on the stairs, bringing her the quill. She heard nothing. The wait seemed interminable. She thought of how omnipotent Prince Rupert was in his dealings towards her. She was foolish to think she could escape with just some ink. And she had no quill.
She could always dip her finger in the ink and write it that way...She had just about decided Prince Rupert was not coming back and she would have to write with her finger when she heard footsteps on the stairs.Prince Rupert was back. He burst into the room, again without knocking, and placed the quill on the table beside the inks. He glared at Lady Ann, who had maintained her place by the window.
She looked at the quill, then at Prince Rupert, who was flushed and panting. She raised an eyebrow. "Paper?" she asked quizzically. "Or am I to write on air?" Maybe getting him riled wasn't such a bad idea. At least it was entertaining.
Prince Rupert's glare became a darker, more ferocious scowl. His breathing was slowly coming back to normal but his face if anything was getting redder.He fumed silently for a few moments, then turned towards the door as if to go.
Then, as if struck by a brilliant thought, he stopped. He turned back. He said, "You can write on the back of my letters! You shouldn't need much room just to say "YES!"" He put his hand on the door handle, leaned back, and threw himself into the longest evil cackle Lady Ann had heard so far. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" She wondered how he had the breath for it after all those stairs. But he wasn't done! He kept laughing. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah aha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
He opened the door, went through, closed it behind him with a thud. The bar of the door was swung into place with a resounding crash, and all the while he still laughed. Lady Ann could hear him as he went down the stair - "Muwha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haa - ha ha - ha - ha h ah!" - getting fainter and fainter as he got further away.
She marvelled at how he managed to keep his footing while laughing so hard. She wondered why he was laughing so hard. Nothing was funny.
"I think he's insane." she said out loud. No one disagreed with her - not that there was any other person present to disagree with her - so it must have been true.
She moved to the table, checked the sharpness of the quill - it was good - and sat down to write.
She started by drawing a neat line through Prince Rupert's love letter plus highly excellent poem in red ink. Then, upon going to turn the page over to write on the other side, realised that the wet ink would make a mark on the table. Not wanting to destroy such a lovely table - for the table was lovely, polished, immensely old oak, with elaborate carved legs, and of great antiquity, and didn't deserve to be ruined just because its owner had seen fit to become evil - she decided instead to wait for the ink to dry, and filled in time by scribbling out all of Prince Rupert's messages.
She wasn't going to send that many darts, of course. Too much chance that Prince Rupert or someone affliated with him would find them. But it gave her so much satisfaction to scribble out his words, and it gave her something to do. And there was lots of ink, so no danger of running out!
At length the ink was dry on the first sheet. She turned the page over and wrote:
"To whoever finds this:
Please help me! I have been imprisoned in the tallest tower of Prince Rupert's very tall castle! He intends to keep me here until I marry him! Please rescue me!
Lady Antoinetta B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z of Erd"
She looked at the message. Did it cover all the relevant points? She thought so. Maybe she hadn't need to put ALL her initials....but they might have got her confused with another Lady Antoinetta of Erd? She was sure at least one of her cousins had the same first name.
Never mind. It was written. She waited for it to dry, impatiently waving it around in the hopes the air would dry it faster that way. Then she folded the letter up into what she had decided was the most effective dart shape (her message on the inside to keep it safe from rain, which might make the ink run), leaned as far out the window as she dared, and launched the dart into the late afternoon air.
She watched it as it flew. It flew well. It flew straight and true, out over the walls, slowly losing height. Soon it was out of sight, but it had gone far enough, she thought.
But what if no one found it? Perhaps she should send another, just in case.She sat down to write again.
(Word Count: 36881)
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