Mad Pete had been right. The tree was magic, and it did help. As soon as Ralph had started to wonder how he could possibly get up the tree, it began sprouting more and more branches lower down its trunk. They spiraled around the tree like a staircase, except not that close together. It actually proved to be quite a stretch from one branch to the next. Ralph was tall, but even so he had to jump a lot further that he felt comfortable with from time to time.
This was fine when he was low to the ground, but the higher he went, the more nervous he became. Even with Ethel flying around the tree for moral support he was a little nervous. He called down to Mad Pete and Ginger McSporran where they were waiting at the bottom of the tree. "Ginger! Don't you think you'd better do this? You're taller than me!"
Ginger McSporran bellowed back up to Ralph "I can't! I'm too heavy! I'll break the branches." The black beast of the caves looked around anxiously. The tree was handy for their purpose, but it was making them look very conspicious - a suddenly sprouting tree that is taller than the tallest building around with a huge trunk that pops up out of your courtyard unexpectedly will do that. "Hurry it up, will you?"
Ralph sighed, and looked up at the next branch. What are you waiting for? he asked himself. You're Ralph the Timid! You're not scared of a little tree climbing! You're not scared of anything! He tried not to think of how he might not be scared of a little tree climbing, but this mammoth plant was anything but a little tree.
On he went, upwards and onwards, branch by branch. As he neared the top the branches got a bit closer together and the going got a little easier. He scrambled up and there, at the end of one long strong bough, through a clump of leaves and twigs, he could see her.
She was even more beautiful than she had been in his dream. She looked lovely, and kind, and sensitive, and Ralph instantly knew, before he even knew her name, that this was the girl for him. Ralph was in love.
Lady Ann looked across the branch through the leaves at Ralph the Timid. Ah ha! This was her hero. Well, he certainly looked the part. And so Lady Ann, in accordance with all appropriate precepts of being a damsel in distress, duly fell in love with Ralph the Timid. It was now a simple matter of rescuing her so that they could escape the evil clutches of Prince Rupert, Ralph could renounce his destiny (though of course Lady Ann knew nothing of that, but Ralph did), and then they could marry and live happily ever after.
But first things first. Ralph said "Hello." And then he blushed because it wasn't a very sophiscated or suave thing to say. Why hadn't he said something dashing and heroic like, I'm here to save you! Or... I am your hero, come to my arms! No, that one was lame too. But something better than hello!
"Hello," said Lady Ann, and then she blushed too, because it was just one of those moments.
"I'm Ralph the Timid," said Ralph the Timid, beginning to inch along the bough towards her.
"I'm Lady Antoinetta Bernadetta Clarissa - Well, I'm Lady Ann of Erd, you can call me Lady Ann." said Lady Ann, deciding that time was probably of the essence adn that full introductions could wait for later. "Have you come to rescue me?"
Ralph blushed even more, if that was possible. Then he straightened up, holding on the tree as tightly as possible while trying to look completely nonchalant. "Why, yes I have. I have come to rescue you."
"Oh goody," said Lady Ann. "I'll just get my things, shall I?" she moved away from the window and rummaged around, getting her ripped dress and retrieving her bottle from the behind the tapestry.
Ralph inched closer to see into the room and to break off a few of the leaves at the end of the bough to make it a little easier for Lady Ann to climb out of the window. The branch sagged quite alarmingly under his weight and he found he had to lean forward to do it, almost lying along the branch.
"Are you ready?" he asked Lady Ann as she returned to the window. "Will you be able to get out here on your own? I can't get any closer without the branch bending too much to hold my weight."
Lady Ann looked dubious and tried not too look down. It was a long way, and there was nothing between her window and the tree branch to break her fall. "I suppose so," she said reluctantly.
"Great, " said Ralph the Timid with relief. "I'd come in and get you, but I think it will be easier this way. Pass me your things, if you like. Then you'll have both hands free."
Lady Ann duly wrapped up the bottle in the dress in a sort of knotted bundle and threw it gently to Ralph. She almost threw it too gently, and Ralph had to lunge to stop it from falling past him. He was sitting astride the bough and was holding on very tightly with his legs. No one could say that Ralph the Timid wasn't very brave, but he didn't like incredible heights more than the next man.
Neither was Lady Ann too fond of heights. She looked at the branch nervously as Ralph the Timid slung the dress around his shoulders, hanging it by its sleeve knotted to part of its skirt. "What have you got in here?" he asked, feeling the hard bottle wrapped up inside the soft fabric.
"It's my good luck bottle," said Lady Ann vaguely, feeling a bit faint. "Are - are you sure I can make it to the branch?" she said timidly. "You couldn't - you couldn't rescue me some other way?"
"I'm afraid not," said Ralph apologetically. "I would - but there's no way up to your tower from outside and if I go inside someone will sound the alarm."It had not occurred to him, as it had to Ginger McSporran, that possibly an extremely large tree was not the most subtle rescue technique.
"Oh, yes, I see that." said Lady Ann politely. She hitched up her skirts and started to climb onto the window sill. She could see as she did so the dizzying drop to the ground and it made her head spin. It was such a long way. "Are you sure?" she asked desperately.
"It's just a little jump," said Ralph the Timid reassuringly. "And I promise I will catch you."
Lady Ann looked very unsure about this. But then, just as she was hesitating some more, she heard something.
"Someone's coming up the stairs!" she said in alarm. "They're running up the stairs!"
"Jump!" urged Ralph again, holding out his arms. "I'll catch you!"
But Lady Ann still could not bring herself to throw herself from the relatively security of the windowsill. She listened in growing panic as the footsteps drew closer and stopped and then there was the scrape as the door bar was lifted out of the way.
With a terrified squeal she leapt from the sill and into the leafy bit of the branch just as the door burst open and Prince Rupert stormed into the room.The branch bent alarmingly as she struggled for a better grip, and there was an ominious cracking sound. Ralph, lying along the branch was holding out both his hands for her to grab, but could not reach her.
Prince Rupert ran to the window. "LADY ANN!" He roared.
Lady Ann struggled along the branch towards Ralph. Her feet kicked the air, looking for a footing. Her face was flushed with exertion. She did not reply to Prince Rupert.
"You shall not escape from me so easily!" roared her erstwhile captor again, climbing up onto the windowsill himself.
Ralph lunged for Lady Ann just as the villainous Prince Rupert launched himself into the air.
(Word Count: 45465)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
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