Chapter Twelve: In Which Lady Ann is still in Peril.

While Ginger McSporran was serving Ralph the Timid with tea, and Ralph the Timid was debating the best way to avoid being talked to about a cave for what looked to be an extremely long period of time, nefarious deeds were afoot in other parts of Ablet.

Lady Ann had not enjoyed her time at the inn. She had thought that, in theory, she would enjoy herself at an inn one day. She thought now that no matter the circumstances, she would never enjoy herself in a place such as this. It was, quite aside from anything else, quite dirty. And then, it was the haunt of evil villianous men such as Prince Rupert. She had spent quite a lot of time sitting on the floor to which she had fallen, in the room into which she had been thrust, contemplating her many woes.

She was cold, because her dress was ripped and she only had one shoe, and no fire had been lit in the room. It was getting on to evening, she thought, although it was difficult to tell if any light ever made it into this room anyway, the windows were so grimy. She was bruised in places she didn't even know she had, and some of her bruises had bruises, from being jounced along over the long miles hung over the front of a saddle like a sack of potatoes. She was hungry. She was thirsty. She was feeling very put out with Prince Rupert for being so mysterious and for cackling evilly intermittently. She had wanted an adventure, but just a small one! All she'd wanted to do was climb out the window.

She kicked her feet against the dirty floor in frustration, then stopped because one of her feet was bare and it hurt. That really was the last straw. She scrambled to her feet, tossed her blonde hair back from her face, and marched to the door, ready go out and give Prince Rupert a piece of her mind. No one abducted Lady Antoinetta Bernadetta Clarissa Drusilla Eleanora Georgetta Henrietta Isabella Juanita Katherina Lolita Marguerita Nerissa Octavia Petunia Quintessa Roberta Suzetta Tabitha Ursula Venitia Wilhelmina Xenia Zelda of Erd and got away with it! At least, she reflected, pausing before wrenching open the door, they probably did, but the least she could do would be to yell at them. Surely even princesses in peril did that?

She put out her hand to open the door, but before she could do so the door opened itself.
Lady Ann took a step back in surprise, then realised that the door in fact had not opened itself. Rather Prince Rupert had opened it and stood in the doorway grinning sardonically.
"Ha ha ha ha!" he said, or laughed. It depended on your point of view. He sometimes had an odd way of laughing that sounded a bit like he was saying 'ha ha ha!' rather than laughing.
"Ha ha ha ha!" he said or laughed again. "Trying to escape, are we?"

As Lady Ann had not, in fact, being trying to escape she merely ignored this - despite wishing to point out the foolishness of attempting an escape through the door into the main part of the inn - and opened her mouth to being her castigation of him for his abduction of her. "Sir -"
She did not get further than this.

Prince Rupert held up his hand."Do not attempt to confuse me with your futile arguments!" he said authoratatively. "The time has come for you to hear of my plan for you!"

Lady Ann crossed her arms in front of her and tried to look as dignified yet snooty as it is possible to look in a ripped dress with tangled hair and only one shoe on.

"I shall take you, and imprison you in a very tall tower in my domain!" Princes these days didn't really have kingdoms, or princedoms. They just had areas of influence (like spheres of influence but more length x width than four-thirds x pi x radius cubed ..so generally smaller, and certainly less three dimensional.) where they kept their palaces.

"Why?" asked Lady Ann.

"Because." said Prince Rupert. "You will have to stay there until you marry me."

"Why?" asked Lady Ann again.

"Because." said Prince Rupert, slightly put off his train of thought."It's the way these things must be done."

"Why?" asked Lady Ann for a third time.

"Right, that's it!" said Prince Rupert, losing patience. "I will keep you in my tallest tower surrounded by lots of spiky things so you can't escape, until such time as you see fit to marry me!"

"Shan't." said Lady Ann, and kicked him with the foot that still had the shoe on.

"Ouch!" said Prince Rupert in an exclamatory fashion, and fell over.

Lady Antoinetta Bernadetta Clarissa Drusilla Eleanora Georgetta Henrietta Isabella Juanita Katherina Lolita Marguerita Nerissa Octavia Petunia Quintessa Roberta Suzetta Tabitha Ursula Venitia Wilhelmina Xenia Zelda of Erd skipped neatly over his body and ran out the open door. She ran through the emptiness of the main room of the inn, not even pausing to pick up her shoe. She ran out the main door. She ran across the yard, and it is at this point that the omnipotent power of Peril on a Damsel in distress exerted itself.

Lady Ann put her bare foot into a mud puddle, skidded, staggered to keep her balance, slipped into another puddle, was unable to keep her balance and fell sideways into a third puddle, liberally covering herself in muddy water.

Then it started to rain.

Then Prince Rupert came outside. He laughed. "Ha ha ha. You cannot escape so easily, Lady Ann!"

And so saying, he hauled her to her feet, took her back inside, and tied her to the dirty bar with an even dirty piece of rope so that she couldn't escape again before he was ready.

Lady Ann was very cross indeed.

(Word Count: 12034)