There was a cracking sound. A LOUD cracking sound. It was not omninous. It had gone beyond omnious. Omnious implies that there might be a break, at some point in the future, but that it hasn't happened yet, but will at some point in the future, but not yet.
That was not what happened when Prince Rupert launched himself from the windowsill. He could jump further than Lady Ann, so he ended up clinging to the branch at approximately the same point as her. That was also approximately the same point as Ralph, who had been wriggling forward to retrieve Lady Ann.
The branch broke under the combined weight of the three of them. Ralph waved his arms frantically in the air to remain upright on the piece of branch that was still attached to the tree, then had to dive forward to catch Lady Ann's upraised hand. Prince Rupert, with no one to catch him, fell.
He did not fall very far. There were sufficient branches from the natural spiral staircase around the trunk to stop his fall. It hurt, but it stopped him. "Ow." said Prince Rupert, as he shinned his way along the branch that had stopped his fall towards the trunk. "That really hurt." He looked up to see what was going on above him.
What was going on was still a large amount of danger. Lady Ann dangled from Ralph the Timid's arm, unable to be pulled to safety - there just wasn't enough branch left. His arm was hurting, but he wasn't going to let her go. Her legs kicked wildly. There was a branch for her to rest them on, but she couldn't find it. "To the left!" directed Ralph the Timid. "No, the other left!"Her toes kicked against the branch and then she got a foot to it. Then the other foot. Ralph let out a sigh of relief. "Great. Now, I'll wiggle backwards, and you wiggle backwards until you've got hold of the tree."
"Okay!" said Lady Ann with rapid agreement. Her heart was in her mouth. She hadn't noticed that, as per Prince Rupert's example, she was not likely to fall to her death. She would merely fall to some severe bruising. She inched along the branch, clinging to Ralph above her, until she could cling to the trunk like some sort of princess -flavoured tree lizard.
It was only then that they realised the dilemma they were now in. Prince Rupert was below Lady Ann on the tree, and he was between them and the ground (which makes sense really, since he was below her on the tree, and therefore nearer the ground).
Ralph the Timid clambered down to sit beside Lady Ann on her branch. "Are you all right?" he asked.
She nodded, breath coming too quickly to say anything. She swallowed hard a few times, then said "I'm fine but I don't know ..how can we get past him? We're trapped!"
Ralph the Timid shook his head. "We'll find a way."
Below them they could see Prince Rupert looking up at them. He was clearly trying to decide whether it would be better to try and climb up to get at them or to wait for them to come to him.
"Don't worry!" said Ralph the Timid, "We'll be fine as soon as we get to the ground. My friends are down there. He'll be outnumbered."
"Your friends are down there?" said Lady Ann looking down through the branches. "I saw them before - a big guy in black...he looked like he had wings? and a man in all sorts of different colours, like a ragbag exploded on him, right?"
"That's right," said Ralph proudly, "Ginger McSporran - he's a black beast of some caves up in the mountains, and Mad Pete - he's, well, he's mad, but he'll be helpful enough once we get down there."
"That's nice in theory," said Lady Ann, who had recovered her equilibrium somewhat, "but I don't see them down there now."
Ralph looked. He also could not see any sign of Ginger McSporran or Mad Pete. He couldn't even see Ethel. "No matter, " he said heroically. "I'll save you all by myself." He looked up to see if they could climb back into Lady Ann's tower and escape down the stairs. No, that avenue was definitely cut off, unless Lady Ann proved to be a much better jumper than she had been so far. And if he himself was part kangaroo. No, that was definitely out.
He looked down again. Prince Rupert was grinning evilly. "Well, let's go down, anyway." said Ralph the Timid with some resignation. "I bet they're just hiding around the corner or something."
He climbed around past Lady Ann, trying not to look to soppily at her as he did so - heroes, he was sure, did not look soppily at damsels in distress until they were properly, completely, totally rescued and the marriage and living happily ever after was about to begin. He began to help her downwards.
Prince Rupert, standing upright with one foot on each of two branches, began to speak, laughing and jeering at Ralph. "And what are you, my fine friend? Are you meant to be a hero? What kind of hero uses a tree? You're trapped now, whoever you are! Ah ah ah ha ha ha ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" He threw his head back and his chest out, one hand upon the hilt of his sword which was still in its scabbard - just as well, as Ralph the Timid had no sword, merely a hunting knife, and that was somewhere with Ginger McSporran and Mad Pete, wherever they were. He looked particularly devillish in this pose, with his black puffy sleeved shirt and tight black pants and boots, with his black hair flowing in the breeze and his scar convulsing with every laugh. He was so caught up in the laughing he was not aware of Ralph the Timid scrambling towards him over the branches until it was too late.
"My name is Ralph the Timid, and I am your brother!" said Ralph the Timid, and gave him a hard push. "And there! I'm eviller than you!"
Prince Rupert's arms windmilled wildly as he tried to regain his balance, but he failed and fell backwards down the tree with a wild yelp.
Ralph the Timid smiled in satisfaction, but too soon. Another sturdy branch broke his foe's fall, and Prince Rupert, feeling battered but determined not to show it, grinned up at him.
"My brother? Eviller than me? Pah!" he spat in an exclamatory and derisive manner. "Well, we'll see about that! GUARDS!"
Ralph the Timid and Lady Ann watched in dismay as a formation of black coated guards raced towards the tree.
Another pair of eyes watched from a vantage point atop the castle walls. "Well, well, well," said a mysterious voice. "His brother? My word, that is interesting. Don't you think?"
The speaker turned to look at Mad Pete, Ginger McSporran and Ethel who all stood near him bound in coil upon coil of rope (or chain, in the case of Ginger McSporran). They returned the look with murderous glares. "Very interesting indeed," said the speaker, stroking his chin. "I think we'd better take a closer look at this."
(Word Count: 46747)
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