For a moment, time seemed to stand still. The two Prince Ruperts stared at each other, and everyone else stared at the Prince Ruperts. When they had only been able to see one, they had looked like the same man, if that made sense. Now both of the Prince Ruperts were in the same place, the differences were obvious.
The one who was flanked by Mad Pete, Ginger McSporran and Ethel was taller and thinner with longer hair, and a bigger scar. He also was dressed completely in black, but his black somehow seemed blacker if that was possible. On the other hand, the Prince Rupert who had run out of the castle keep in pursuit of Ralph the Timid and Lady Ann was slightly shorter and slightly stockier with shorter hair and a scar, which while still being very big, was smaller than that of his lookalike. His face was also covered in long red gashes and his shirt was hanging in ribbons from his encounter with Twinkle.
"Who are you?" he demanded angrily of the man facing him.
"Isn't it obvious?" said the other Prince Rupert, examining his fingernails casually. "I'm your evil twin."
Lady Ann and Ralph the Timid took their opportunity to slowly and subtly edge out of the way.
"How can you be my evil twin?" raged Prince Rupert. "I'M evil! I can't have an evil twin! And besides, HE'S my evil twin - come back here!" This last bit was directed at Ralph, who he grabbed by the arm and pulled away from Lady Ann.
"Ah ha ha ha." laughed the other Prince Rupert quietly. "I think you will find he is not. No, I am the evil Prince Clarence of Xanadu. I was abandoned by my parents in the mountains, but my kind hearted mother could not, in the end, abandon completely chartless - stupid woman! And so I grew up, knowing my destiny, and knowing that one day, I would return and claim my own!" He drew a piece of paper from his pocket and clutched it exultantly.
Mad Pete was looking horrified. His eyes were popping. He was mouthing something at Ralph that seemed to be something along the lines of "Oh - my bad! I'm really sorry!"
Ginger McSporran was just looking a bit resigned, and Ethel wasn't looking at anything in particular.
Ralph was watching this exchange with growing enjoyment. He wasn't evil after all! That was excellent news. Now he would be able to live happily ever after with Lady Ann...how lovely. Lady Ann....he looked over to where she was standing and discovered she wasn't there. Where had she gone? He tried to look for her while not being too obvious, while next to him the debate of the brothers Xanadu raged.
"Claim your own?" Prince Rupert was saying disgustedly. "Claim your own?"
"That's right, brother." said Prince Clarence, folding his piece of paper into small bits and then putting in back into his chest pocket. "I am here to claim my own. My share of the domain of Xanadu, its castles, its wealth. And then I shall build the most powerful regime of domination in all the land!" He looked up and shook his fist at the sky. There was a sudden crash and dazzle of thunder and lightning, even though it was broad daylight and the weather was completely fine. That's just how evil Prince Clarence was. It even made Prince Rupert take a step back so that he stood within the doorway of the keep, though he never lost his disdainful sneer.
"I don't think so," said Prince Rupert, dangerously, letting go of Ralph to put his hand on his sword."And what kind of a name is Clarence anyway? Very evil sounding! I don't think."
"I know you don't think, brother!" said Prince Clarence with an evil grin, and then drawing his own sword, swung his arm back and then flung it through the air. It flew with deadly aim, towards Prince Rupert and past him, into the darkness of the keep, where it could be heard clanging and banging as it rebounded off the walls..
"You missed!" cried Prince Rupert "Ah ha! Ah ha ha ha ha -" he was suddenly cut short as the portcullis descended rapidly, puncturing him in several places, its supporting ropes having been severed by Prince Clarence's boomeranging sword. There was a horrible gurgling sound as Prince Rupert struggled for breath. "Owwwww." said Prince Rupert, with great difficulty. "Could some - someone - someone please get this portcullis off me?"
Ralph the Timid stared in horror, as did Mad Pete and Ginger McSporran. Ethel was not very interested because she was a bird, Twinkle was somewhere else making friends with the palace cats, and Lady Ann was nowhere to be seen.
Prince Clarence, however, had no such empathy for his brother. He laughed, a deep full evil laugh that echoed around the stone walls of the castle. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha ha ha ha ha h ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ahah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h aha ha haa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha h ah ha ha ha -" and then, he was suddenly cut short too. He made a funny "Oeoergh" noise, swayed a little at the knees, and then collapsed in a big heap of black clothing.
Lady Ann looked very pleased with herself and smiled at her bottle. "I knew this would come in handy eventually!" she said. "And I didn't even break it!"
"Great!" said Mad Pete, hopping forward to take a closer look."Brandy! Well, let's get us unchained and we can all have a drink to celebrate."
"We don't have a key, " said Ralph the Timid, without attempting to search Prince Clarence for one. He was only knocked out, after all.
"We don't need one," said Ginger McSporran. He flexed his arms, and with a loud snapping noise, his chains smashed. He walked over to Mad Pete and Ethel and broke their chains in turn. Mad Pete rubbed his arms and Ethel flapped her wings, and they both looked at Ginger McSporran in dignified silence.
There was a pause. "You mean you could have done that at any time?" asked Ralph the Timid.
"And easily overpowered Prince Clarence?" asked Lady Ann.
Ginger McSporran shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, it was your story, Ralphie baby. Now why don't you introduce us to your girlfriend, and we'll get this all cleaned up?"
And so Ralph the Timid introduced Lady Ann to Ginger McSporran, Mad Pete and Ethel, and then they got it all cleared up.
EPILOGUE
So, what happened in the end to everyone, and what is the moral of the story? That's what's really important, after all.
Well, Prince Clarence never really recovered from his bop on the head. He woke up believing he was an Unexpectedly Large Warbler with a flying impediment, so Ethel took him under her wing, so to speak, and only pecked him when he tried to do evil things to other Unexpectedly Large Warblers. She and Mad Pete looked after him back in Rangville, where Mad Pete decided it was probably time for him to do some more work, since retirement was really rather boring, and so he wrote a book about his experiences and mostly his failed experiment with preventing destinies ("The Snake Will Out: My Foray Into Preventing Evil Developing In Those Born In Inauspicious Years, by Boris P. Blockoff, available in all good retailers.)
Ginger McSporran went back to his caves, and took Twinkle with him, but only after doing a great deal of shopping and buying some new types of tea. He made his new friends promise to visit him at least once a year, because as he said, it was lonely work, being a cave beast.
Prince Rupert recovered from the injuries caused by the portcullis falling down on him, but he renounced being an evil villain and settled for just being a bit mischevious. So if you went to stay at Castle Xanadu, you were always sure of a warm welcome and would never wake up in a dark, rat infested cell or at the top of the tallest tower, but you might find yourself suddenly drenched by a bucket perched atop a door. All in all though, it was an improvement.
And as for Ralph the Timid and Lady Ann, well, they got married and lived happily ever after. Ralph the Timid never found his true birthdate, but after the scary possibilty of being Prince Rupert's evil twin had been discarded he decided he didn't really want to. This way he could still safely go and visit his family in the mountains and introduce his wife to his lovely baby sister.And Lady Ann decided she didn't want any more adventures, so they just made themselves at home in one of the Erd's many manors, and raised themselves a family. One which, Lady Ann made sure, would be prepared to rescue a family member if they saw them being carried off.
And the moral of the story is: Life is full of interesting things. What, you mean that's not a moral? Of course it is.
The End.
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